So, I guess I’m really going for it this summer with all these posts about myself. I mean, I showed you my big old face last week, wrinkles and all. I’ve shared my scars with you. Well today I’m sharing my cellulite, stretch marks and body image issues with you. If you are a regular reader, you know I like to keep it real. But I also think it is really healthy for me to share this stuff with you. For years I wouldn’t leave the house without blow drying and straightening my hair. But I am WAY past that now and it has been very freeing. Ok, well I still always have makeup but my hair is air dried. But I have another goal for myself. One that I think many other people also have. So let’s encourage each other and see if we can all free one of our body image phobias. It has been YEARS since I’ve worn shorts. Yes, I wore them once last summer in Palm Springs. And guess what, I wore them a few Saturdays ago to the grocery store. But I’d really like to get to a place where I feel confidant enough to through them on whenever it’s hot out. When was the last time you wore shorts? Are you afraid of them like I am?
I bought this CUTE black shorts romper from Old Navy while on a vacation in May. I have not worn it yet except to take these pictures in the safety of Lauren’s back yard. I didn’t even wear it home. I changed back in to my other clothes before I left. Why does it have to be this way? For me, I think my image issues are two-fold. Half of it is man-made (ie my cellulite from my love affair with Pop Tarts and my love handles from all those desserts) and the stretch marks I had no control over from growing very fast. The chalk-white skin doesn’t help anything but since worshipping the sun is out for me, I can only rely on creams to give them color (if I want a nice orangey hue). I see all kinds of people wearing shorts and it is encouraging to me that one day I’ll be able to wear them too without a second thought. And since I had a trip to Mexico coming up, where it is like a trillion degrees, I knew that I would HAVE to wear shorts.
It took all my effort to play it cool standing still for Lauren to take these photos. Sitting is a whole other problem. I was so uncomfortable sitting in these shorts! I know that we always see our flaws in a much more pronounced way than others. I’m choosing to share these photos on here in an effort to help myself overcome my fear of people judging my flaws, which most people wouldn’t do unless they are total a-holes. Since the beginning of June, I have really changed my diet and have started seeing some crazy improvements. It really is true, diet and exercise works. I haven’t put too much emphasis on the exercise portion yet, but the diet has helped me start to improve my body from the inside out. As well as how I view my body. I don’t have a scale so I can only go by how my clothes are fitting and the fact that my muffin top is almost gone! Huzzah! So the other day when it was super hot and I had to run out to the store, I felt like I could finally reach for a pair of shorts. I texted 3 different people to let them know I was outside in shorts and I climbed in my car to do my grocery shopping. Guess what? No one laughed at me or my legs. Liberating. I felt proud that I had really made a difference with my lifestyle for the better and was able to change some of my problem areas just with making better choices. And there are things that I can do for the stretch marks as well. I can’t wait to try out this body scrub from Frank which targets cellulite, stretch marks, eczema and more. I get that it will take more than just a scrub to completely erase my trouble areas, but it is nice to know there are things, especially made from natural ingredients, that might help them out.
Before I left for Mexico I got a spray tan since I knew it would help me feel more confidant in my shorts and DEFINITELY in my swimsuit. Our first full day there, I wore shorts. And I didn’t hate it! I made Lauren take a picture as proof. This is my best Giselle pose. Because I am sure she throws herself in to a corner to get THE shot. We walked around town all day and I ended up loving wearing the shorts. I felt like a huge hurdle was cleared. I wore shorts the next day as well. And when I got home, I didn’t hesitate to put on shorts. As my tan is gone at this point, I do feel a little more self conscious about wearing them. But it is WAY less than it was at the start of summer. I’m going to keep up with my healthy eating and perhaps add in a little more exercise. Perhaps. But I have some bad news to report. I wore those adorable ruffled black shorts one time and since they got ocean water on them I washed them when I got home. I hand washed them and hung them to dry. They totally shrunk! Such a bummer! I think I can still wear them but only to the pool. I would NEVER go to the store in them now as I think they may frown on actually seeing that much of a woman’s bum.
Now can we talk for a second about my man hands? This is another problem area for me. I mean, look at that dainty little wrist. And then look at that gorilla hand hanging off of it.
I mean, a girl should be able to drink out of a punchbowl and not feel like she is in a Seinfeld episode. I was going to share this image last year on Instagram but didn’t because my man hand was just too much to share. So here it is. Although diet is not going to change my opinion or size of my hands, I’m going to let my insecurities about them go. What are the insecurities you need to let go of? Will you pledge to wear shorts with me this summer and beyond?